Fugit

"We are plucked from this earth almost as soon as we are put here."

Fortune takes its time to arrive, and wastes none in taking it's leave.

March, April and May and their visitors have come and gone, and the weeks between their visits have flown by with routine and gentle progress. As each task gradually reaches completion and is removed from the list, other things crop up, and slowly a portrait of completion begins to appear, and with it, the framework for the next and greater task. In this next week, prior to our trip to New Hampshire, I will be visiting the Financial Aid office, and following that, registering for courses, and with that, finally be in the fight again, instead of training for a comeback. I don't want to get myself too excited, having grown wary of disappointment in the veins of major life events, but the prospect makes my blood surge, a rush of adrenaline that resurrects a feeling of indomitability that I have missed.

Preparations for NH are going well, and soon I will begin a schedule of baking and packaging a myriad of breads to bring with us a gift to our hosts. Already blankets and sheets are in the wash, for their last cleaning before the trip, a self provided preparation of hospitality. The maintenance and cleaning of the vessel are overly planned for, and under actualized (an all-together too common state for things in my life.)

A great friend of mine is meeting us up in New Hampshire, along with a whole slew of others there for the festivities. But I plan on dragging this friend back with me, by force if necessary.

Whaaaat?

I haven't written anything here in forever! Let's see what can be done about that...

Hahahahahaha.

In Which There Is A Dark Cloud

This previous weekend was my first weekend completely off since I returned, and the only one scheduled for the foreseeable future. At work on Friday I struggled with an intense pain in my lower abdomen, dizziness and feverish feelings. However, I was glad that I didn't ask to leave, toughed it out, and came home feeling fine.

As I went to leave Saturday to run some errands (bank, gym, etc) my car started popping up warnings and making a weird sound. There was a screw dug-in to my tire and setting off warnings lights. I thought it was the Check Engine light, but after checking my manual, I discovered it was a Low Tire Pressure Telltale Indicator (which I didn't recognize, as the Jeep never had one), and spent an hour or so reteaching myself how to change to the donut. This was Saturday, and luckily we had D and D set up Saturday night, as it was the perfect escape from the anxiety of this new issue, since all the hyundai dealerships and tire shops were closed by this point on Saturday and Sunday. We were up until 2 in the morning, by the by, drinking and killing goblins.

I got a used tire installed for a cheap 17 dollars yesterday morning, but my LTP sensor was still on! Frustrated I went to three gas stations near my house only to find that none of them had air pumps, so I drove to work and filled it at the gas station near work. Interestingly, it was the new tire that was setting off the signal, all the other tires were balanced and well pressurized. That being fixed, all is well now, and another week goes on.

Snow, Hey Oh

"What do you mean 'Frozen Wasteland?' This is a Wonderland!"
-Abominable Snowman, Monster's Inc

I'm going to skip the apologetic preamble of how-long-it's-been-since-last. Truth is, the urge to write comes upon me mostly in the car, in the shower, and when going to bed, all times of inconvenience for the task, and with varying levels of danger in attempting to do both at the same time.

My first week back was a struggle. I spent most of it running behind on everything, my battery had died in the time I was gone (I had cleaned out the car before I left and left an internal lamp on). On top of that, the return to work involved several people who were brand new and quite green and more than a bit of disorganization on the managerial end. I spent the time alternating between the slide and the truck and my supervisor told me I wasn't "cut out for sorting." I came home Friday night hating the job, and the situation, and utterly disgusted.

Saturday brought with it good omens. News from a friend that I might be able to pick up shifts where she works, a few stores with signs in them looking for employees, and a sort of silent cosmic reassurance, if you believe in that sort of thing, that this is not the only way. And in a way, that was all that was necessary, because in the week following, I ended up permanently on the slide, sorting, despite my supervisor's previous assertion. And now the entire shift is running more smoothly, and everyone seems to be in a better mood. Either it's getting easier, or I'm getting better, either is good.

During my second week back, and my transition to slide, my spaceheater broke, my evening plans got stalled, and the next day I got into a fender bender, which prompted some maddeningly annoying pro-forma talk from the boss about missing days, despite his acknowledgment of the abscences' legitimacy. I've gotten some folks to look at the car, who's damage is small and completely cosmetic, and so will probably be ignored for quite some time, I've borrowed a space heater from another room in the house, but it's small and not quite so effective. I'm looking at a replacement, something more efficient and worth keeping for a few years.

Sam and Steph have bought a new couch, and it looks great and creates a much more comfortable space for the living room. There's still some stuff to do, like get the TV mounted above the fireplace and get rid of the old couch, but the transitions from old to new are always a hassle, and usually worth it. They've also decided to purchase a new washer and dryer, though, while used, are new to us, and are head and shoulders above the sputtering ones we've got. And apparently a replacement to the water heater's in the works.

We've constantly got new snow coming down, and the temperatures are climbing and then swan diving back down. I've adopted the attitude that it can do whatever it wants, for the next eleven days, the final gasps of February, and then enough. We're done. Temperatures, rise. Rain as much as you please, but the time for being cold is over and move on, now, thank you.

Season's Peak

When I was writing to you last weekend, I was coming down with an illness. Steph believes she communicated it to me, as she felt bad Thursday and Friday, but its hard to say for sure. Furthermore, I had not yet asked for a space heater in my bedroom (an addition I now consider essential) and thus was sleeping in a temperature that varied somewhere in the fifties to low sixties. Couple this with the lack of sleep (I was just beginning to find a good rhythm that involved actually getting enough sleep, but its not infrequent for me to lay down for 6-8 and get 3-5) and despite the exercise, which boosts immune system strength, I was definitely not in a great position to fight something off.

So, Monday I called out, a decision I didn't come to lightly. Tuesday, I went in, and somehow, was able to finish the shift. Whether I felt as good as I thought, or convinced myself I did because I refused to be sick on my Birthday, or whatever, is unclear, because Wednesday I went in for 2 hours and had to leave after feeling so dizzy and faint I grew increasingly concerned that I might pass out, throw up, or worst, fall asleep driving home. I stuck it out for as long as I could, and then asked if it would wrench up the works if I left early. When they told me it would not, I went home. I stayed home Thursday as well, to ensure my full recovery and to prevent spreading my illness to the rest of the boxline... if my Supervisors were upset about one absent employee, it would surely upset them more if half of them were out sick.

Friday, I did go in and work the whole shift (yay) and found out that one or two of my fellow co-workers were also out sick, and had to have their lungs scraped. Sincerely hoping that that is not a necessity asked of me, and as I am feeling much better, with the exception of some hoarseness and the occasional overabundance of mucus, am reasonably sure this is not in my future. If it does somehow end up being the case, everyone will be seeing much more of me.

My Birthday was great. Thanks to everyone for the calls, cards and well wishes! All the cards (including the ones from Graduation, yes, I saved them) are stapled up around the door to my bedroom, and t makes me smile every time I go in. I got a gorgeous watch from Dad, and I've been wanting a watch for a while. I need to take it to a jeweler, because the clasp is unreliable, but its great in every other respect. Until then, I try to not wear it too much so I don't risk losing it. Mom got me a set of nonstick cookware, which is presume is great, but havent used yet. I didnt cook at all last week, between my illness and eating out on Tuesday. Friday, though I felt well enough, I worked two jobs and didn't have time. I'm still getting to the end of the previous menu, which is all slow cooker recipes, and haven't had need to use the new stuff yet. I may get a hanging rack for them, though, since the kitchen is very very small, and there's not much space for new instruments. Also got some very generous cash/giftcard/checks that I am not using or thinking about right now because they will make me very happy in a few weeks or months when I need to change something in the immediate environment.

As I mentioned previously, I'm looking at taking a few classes at the local community college to get back into the educational groove until the state considers me a resident and will give me all its money. Ivy Tech offers a somewhat more limited selection of degrees, but deals with this by offering "concentrations" within a degree program. Thinking about:
Liberal Arts - Social and Behavioral Science Concentration
Hospitality Administration - Culinary Arts Concentration
School of Business - Accounting Concentration
School of Business - Administration Concentration

The last two strike me as potentially very boring and unsatisfying, but I recognize that they open up more job or promotion opportunities for me in the immediate future, and would be useful, if not essential, in the long term dream of owning my own Comic or Animation Studio. I'd also given some thought to Medical Coding and Billing Specialist, because they tend to be in demand and with the Insurance system undergoing some heavy revision, it seems like an area that might see a good bit of growth. E-mail me your thoughts. While I may only be there for a semester, and may only take a few classes, it might make a difference in where I'm aimed.

So many people my age are still wondering where or what they're going to do, I'm glad I have so many interests; but there's so much to do.

That Time of Year

It's been a little less than a month since my last update. It could be better, but it could be worse and I shall endeavor to improve it. There was a hasty and exhausting two and a half weeks between my start at UPS and the Thanksgiving Holiday that provided a respite from the tiring and early work.

During that time I achieved very little, besides going to work which I suppose is an achievement in and of itself. I fell into a pattern of coming home, eating lunch and falling asleep again for two to four hours, which lead to difficulty sleeping. I also got stuck working a series of cars that I strongly dislike due to the size and unevenness of the loads and the fact that the last car is off the dock. My tenure with that area is over, and I'm working a set of bins that have been pretty good to me. My first hour is vigorous, but then I have gotten far enough ahead of my work that the rest of the shift is very easy. There was some trouble with misloads earlier this week which I took too to heart, but the following days had Zero Misloads, and this impressed the Powers That Be. I have been used to help train a new hire, which is silly, but oh well.

I believe I witnessed someone get fired and subsequently escorted from the building. A supervisor asked me to go to the end of the line to assist someone who was swamped; this was odd because we were all so far ahead of our workload that no one should be swamped. I found that the reason the employee was behind was because he was being questioned by five Guys In Suits. G.I.S. are always a bad sight, as they are five or six paygrades above someone in my position, and a gathering of this magnitude, I found through the grapevine, is often an indicator that something has suspiciously gone missing. After a few minutes of this, my supervisor told me i would be finishing up this section, and a few minutes after that event, the GIS "walked with" the employee to who-know's-where.

As I was getting to leave I was stopped by Terry, the Boss of My Bosses, and informed in a clandestine fashion that while he cannot schedule me that early, if I were to show up at 1:30, I might be clocked in. I'm gonna get up at Midnight, so, that should be fun... Looking forward to the overtime, hah. If this pattern continues eventually I'll be there so early that it's a normal person's job. Also been giving some thought to getting my CDL and aiming to be a driver. A lot of people have been working on the boxline for three or more years, and while I can wholly understand this as a result of the union and seniority being a major piece in promotion, I'm inclined to do whatever I can to improve my station.

UPS's Tuition Aid works in a reimbursement fashion, which is fine, if you have funds to be reimbursed. However, for Ivy Tech (a local community college) they pay direct. Ivy Tech also costs <3,000 a year, which s what UPS provides. So, if IUPUI doesn't give me a good shake on Financial Aid for the upcoming semester, I plan to go to IT and work on courses that will be transferrable to IUPUI for a degree in Psychology. It's the second degree I've always imagined working towards, so a change in sequence is no big deal and probably a good staging ground for figuring out how this life will work (with UPS and school).

I've found that I really like Christmas sights, sounds, smells, etc, but without snow, they can be fairly depressing. That being said, snow and the bitter-ass cold in the house is not pleasant. I'm thinking (read: fairly certain) that I'm going to buy a small, real tree for the foot of the stairs in the basement so that I can enjoy the smell. Sam and Steph use a fake tree because their grandkids come for Christmas in late January and the tree will be dead by then, so, for the sake of their investment.

Thursday I think I started to find a pattern that will yield some good results for peak season and me, in regards to accomplishing something. I'm looking out at a field of long strings of 10+ days working with single days in between off. I'm going to go to Financial Aid monday after work to try and get the last of the big stressful things off my back before my birthday. Not sure what I'm going to do. May go take myself to see a movie (sad because im going alone? happy because its my birthday?) make myself a pineapple upside down cake (lame to make your own birthday cake, but I cant rationalize a way its ok to ask steph or sam) and maybe just get more sleep and not be worried about anything.

In a related thought, I'm eagerly planning out gifts for everyone. Just zip me an email if Mom hasnt been helpful in giving you any ideas, or the address, and as always, your generosity means so much. I am trying to avoid it, but a few of you may be receiving Winter-Een-Mas presents instead of Christmas presents. Winter-een-mas is a made up holiday, ostensibly celebrated by every male between the ages of 8 and 15, wherein the winter break is taken up wholly by the constant play of videogames, only breaking for the most basic survival needs and the occasional nod at hygiene. What it allows me to do is actually just send gifts after I get my paycheck wth all that lovely lovely overtime...

One Door Opens...

So, I've been avoiding writing, which evidently hasn't escaped everyone's notice because I've received e-mails, plural. There is no excuse, but there is a reason... Since my meeting at UPS (and subsequent scheduling of the interview) time was spent waiting.

I hate waiting, and what's more, is its rather difficult to write interestingly about waiting. At least, in this context... the goal here is not for the sort of abstract, train of thought writing that would make such an explanation interesting, and so there would have been lots of posts like "Saw a funny billboard, played a videogame, looking forward to Community tonight." On days like that, I would not subject you kind people to the boredom of my everyday life. It would be unethical, immoral, and probably a violation of the Geneva Convention.

Anyway, since then, I have returned to UPS for an interview (at 5 AM, no doubt), which required another tour since Pre-Load does things "differently." Rejecting an invitation to Louisiana for Halloween weekend so I could stay home, be responsible with my money, help Steph work on the house, and miss out on several parties, one of which I'm told involved a hot tub.

Save me.

My phone also died immediately after that interview so I enjoyed playing phone tag with the hiring manager to determine my start date, and cleared this up shortly before Mom and Paige came down for a long weekend. Paige and Sam hit it off, I got to show them around town, we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. They spent so much time with the kittens that after they left Thundercat and the little ones wanted nothing to do with anything bipedal for the next 24 hours.

I woke up for work a mere seven hours after dropping Mom and Paige off at the airport; 2:30 AM for a report at 4 AM. I was excited to get to it, but I ended up spending the next four hours watching training videos, most of which were older than me. This pattern continued through Thursday, however after Monday, each day included some work on the floor. The amount of floor time waxed and the amount of training time waned until Friday was a complete shift on the floor. (My report time was moved to 4:30 which gets me closer to a proper seven or so hours of sleep, depending on whats going on downstairs at the time) My first day on the floor (Tuesday) they had me work on one truck, which I quickly grew bored with, and took on two. Wednesday, was three. Thursday, four. Friday, however, took the cake. I was on four trucks for about twenty minutes, a different set of three for another hour, then to a different set of three for half an hour, back to the previous three for forty five minutes, then to another set of three for half an hour, then finishing off the shift by doing add/cuts in and out of three trucks.

My 8.85 an hour is thoroughly earned.

I'm working at the Bungalow this weekend, and the wave holds through until next Sunday, my first 24 hours off. The Bungalow is more appreciated than ever as an opportunity to work and draw, write, read, etc outside of the house-- the environment makes all the difference.

As I write this, Sam and Steph do all manner of things--grocery shopping, clothes browsing, picking up tools and supplies for the house. I believe the last package of flooring will be purchased today, as well as the titular door, which will make me firmly secured in the basement bedroom (which requires all manner of finishing touches, but has the essentials: walls, floor, door, bed, light).

I've been experimenting with baking... I made homemade Challah just before The Visit, and it turned out very well, if considerably thicker than I expected. Last night I experimented with making pretzels, and while the flavor was right, it was distinctly lacking in some areas. A frequent issue I have is when kneading the dough or mixing it, I get a large, flaky, dry mass that looks sort of like a monochromatic mass of torn cloth. I can never achieve a smooth mass of dough. Anyone want to chime in with some advice? Is it too much dry/not enough liquid? Over/under kneading?

Since I know Mom is reading this: Thanks AGAIN! for the Dry Erase Board and the smelly stuff. the DEB is very useful in getting me to actually accomplish things when I've got the time (and I will adjust to the UPS schedule and have the energy to do more of them each day) and the smelly stuff has been great in keeping the room smelling nice despite our menagerie of animals. The lumber-scented candle has met its end, and I look forward to trying out the next one. Much Love.